She doesn’t have a whole lot to work with, mind you.

The main character - provided you decide to play as a woman - also sounds like she was recently thawed out after being frozen in the ’90s, with a weird hybrid accent that’s equal parts post-Valley Girl/Clueless and Chandler from Friends. Seeing as barely any care or attention went into Lichdom: Battlemage’s visuals, it should come as no surprise that the voice acting is also equal parts lackadaisical and non-ironically retro. In fact, seeing as the skeleton enemies look like they stepped out of some “Intro to 3D models” class from the mid- to late-’90s, it wouldn’t shock me if they were the result of some particularly lazy Googling. The characters in this game fare no better, looking like stock art that you’d get if you Googled “medieval people”. It’s as if Lichdom’s developers saw Skyrim, thought to themselves, “Yeah, I want that!”, then put everything off until a week before their work was due, at which point they decided to recreate their vague recollections from memory with the intent of having it run on a PS2. The environments are as stereotypically medieval as they come. I’m not one to talk about, care about or even notice things like framerates, but considering you can’t even turn around in this game without everything stuttering and freezing, I totally see where they’re coming from.Īnd it’s not like this game has super-demanding graphics, either. Even though it’s received a patch that theoretically “fixed” things, this game still looks horrendous. It’s not for nothing that Digital Foundry declared Lichdom: Battlemage to be the worst-looking game they’d ever seen. Lichdom: Battlemage is so bad, if games were people it would look at The Technomancer and say, “Man, I wish I could be that good.” (Note: The Technomancer sucks.) Being a small step above games of that ilk barely constitutes an achievement.

The Park and Murasaki Mist are, as far as I’m concerned, the two top contenders for worst game of 2016. Of course, it’s that last line that gives away just how terrible Lichdom: Battlemage is. If we’re not being facetious, it could’ve been The Park, for example, or Murasaki Mist. It could’ve triggered mass seizures, along the lines of that infamous Pokémon episode. Well…Lichdom: Battlemage could’ve been worse.įor example, it could’ve somehow given your console a virus.

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